Well, it’s all over. Truly for some more than others.
The White Lotus has dropped the anchor for Season 2, with that shocking finale sending some of our favourites into Davy Jones’ Locker for good.
Now we’re still reeling from some of those unanswered questions, we have plenty of speculation energy still simmering. So, what better way to channel it than making up our own hypothetical dream cast for Season 3?
Creator Mike White hasn’t yet confirmed anything about Season 3, but has hinted that it may be located in Asia. “The first season kind of highlighted money, and then the second season is sex,” White said in an HBO featurette released after the Season 2 finale. “I think the third season would be maybe a satirical and funny look at death and Eastern religion and spirituality. It feels like it could be a rich tapestry to do another round at White Lotus.”
So, with that in mind, let’s cast the next season of The White Lotus with whoever we damn well please.
Phill Lewis (as Mr. Moseby)
Credit: It’S A Laugh Productions/Walt Disney Tv/Kobal/Shutterstock
You can’t do a hotel-based show without including television’s pre-eminent hotel manager: Mr. Marion Moseby (Phill Lewis) from The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. Mr. Moseby is no stranger to luxury hotels, nor is he a stranger to guest hijinks. Remember, this is the same man who dealt with Zack and Cody for years. Rich guests’ complaints will be a walk in the park by comparison. Who knows, maybe with Mr. Moseby in charge, guests of the White Lotus wouldn’t die all the time. No murder in his lobby! — Belen Edwards, Entertainment Reporter
Maya Rudolph and Joel Kim Booster (in their Loot roles)
Credit: Apple TV+
There is nothing I would love more than a crossover situation with The White Lotus and Maya Rudolph’s billionaire protagonist from Loot. Can you imagine Molly Novak just strolling off a superyacht into the next season adorned in Beyoncé’s pink satin suit, ready to down mimosas and splash around her wealth with her assistant Nicholas (Joel Kim Booster)? Maybe she’d bring personal chef David Chang along for the ride. I’d like to think this crossover would fit in somewhere early in Loot, before Molly decides to check out her charity foundation and find humanity in all that wealth, and just after she’s splurging on material things to forget that no-good husband of hers, tech billionaire John Novak (Adam Scott). Wait, he could come too! — Shannon Connellan, UK Editor
Credit: Katie Iida / A24
If you’ve seen Rachel Sennott in Bodies Bodies Bodies, you’ll understand why she needs to be on The White Lotus. If you haven’t seen the film, allow me to paint a picture of one of Sennott’s many scenes that can easily exist on The White Lotus: It’s dark, it’s raining, there’s no electricity, three people have gruesomely died, and Sennott’s character is fighting with her friend. But instead of focusing on the murders at hand, Sennott’s character has a diss far more pressing to say: “Your parents… are upper… middle… class. They teach… at a university.” Now imagine Tanya (Jennifer Coolidge) crying in the background and you easily have a scene fresh off The White Lotus. Sennott’s impeccable ability to deliver the most absurd lines at the most absurd times is exactly what The White Lotus bolsters and I fear she’d instantly become a fan-favorite. — Yasmeen Hamadeh, Entertainment Intern
OK, so admittedly it’s my strong opinion that Olivia Colman should be cast in everything all the time, so I may be a little biased here. But anyone who’s seen the Oscar winner’s sheer range – everything from Green Wing’s hilariously clumsy Harriet Schulenberg to Queen Elizabeth II in The Crown – will know that she can do comedy and drama with equal ease. And that’s exactly what you need for The White Lotus. Characters have to be funny while also brimming with repressed emotion. Just imagine Colman playing an uptight matriarch, or an awkwardly overfriendly member of hotel staff or her character escaping the past on holiday in The Lost Daughter. Give her any role, she’ll nail it. — Sam Haysom, Deputy UK Editor
Credit: ABC/Scott Everett White
As Ava on Abbott Elementary, this dynamic comedic actor has knocked us down with her fierce brand of funny. James’ energy would be a breath of fresh bombast on whatever shores the White Lotus resort might land next. As the side hustle-obsessed principal, she’s shown she can play a character we should despise, but can’t because of all that charisma and side-splitting comedic timing. That’d make her a perfect fit for playing whatever Mike White might dream up, be it an obnoxious heiress, an influencer on the rocks, or the next sure-to-be-harried head of resort customer service. Imagine James on White Lotus Season 3, and it’s easy to envision a second Emmy nomination in her future. — Kristy Puchko, Film Editor
Credit: Eddy Chen/HBO
Imagine the chaos. Imagine the looks. While Season 1 of The White Lotus may have already given us another one of Euphoria’s it girls, Sydney Sweeney, Alexa Demie is the addition the show needs. After enduring whatever style Portia (Haley Lu Richardson) thought she had this season, we need Demie to redeem Gen Z as worthy style icons. You already know she’d wear archive Versace to the pool, a head to toe Heaven by Marc Jacobs look to the breakfast buffet, a certain je ne sais quois for every dinner outfit. Demie is also the definition of unfiltered and unbothered, and would be the absolute messiest person on the show. To make things even more meta, bring her on the show as Maddie and bridge a White Lotus and Euphoria crossover to begin the HBO cinematic universe. — Y.H.
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Credit: Ganesh Patil/Sony/Kobal/Shutterstock
Before making my case for Dev Patel, allow me to redirect you to this viral fancam of him. Now that we have a visual, imagine how ethereal he’d be on the show. It’s time for a new hunk to grace White Lotus’ lobby, and Dev Patel is the man for the job. He’s also a phenomenal actor with a wide range – a crowned king of rom-coms (Modern Love), dramas (Lion), and action (The Green Knight), the holy trinity for an it-boy actor. So you know he’d be ready to contribute to The White Lotus’ signature roster of beautiful trash men. — Y.H.
Credit: Dolly Hall Prods/Kobal/Shutterstock
Who wants to French braid? Parker Posey would make a hell of a high-drama guest on The White Lotus, especially in full demanding archvillain Fiona mode from Josie and the Pussycats or high-and-mighty Eagleton mode a la Parks and Rec. Over her wonderfully varied career, Posey has brought us the type of querulous, witty, stubborn, self-assured character you would not want to cross, which could align with the type of hyper-judgmental, deadpan, Harper-like role Aubrey Plaza crushed in Season 2 or Connie Britton’s no-nonsense Nicole in Season 1, brutally crushing Alexandra Daddario’s dreams by the pool. — S.C.